My Girl

The Song
The day we went to the doctor to find out our August baby's gender,  I was so excited. I told myself I'd be happy and ready either way. If it was a boy, he'd be the first boy grandchild on my side of the family and the first one in eight years on Alex's side.  We had a lot of people remind us of this, with "we are counting on you" types of comments. If it was a girl, she would mirror my experience, being the second girl in the family and having a big sister close in age. And I love my girl so much, I just knew I'd be thrilled with another. When the doctor told us it was another girl, I knew in my heart that God had chosen this for our family, and chosen well. I knew she was not just "another," but uniquely created by God to be something wonderful and unique. When I heard "another" girl was coming, I couldn't believe I was getting another girl- what an excessive blessing! I immediately thought of the song, "My Girl" and my heart sang out the song. Since then I have listened to the song many times, with the words and melody washing over me to produce a rich, deep joy. "I've got sooooo much hon-ey, the bees envy me." Having Della opened my heart and turned me inside out in the most wonderful way. What a blessing to get to have that times TWO. So. much. honey.

The Poem
Right away we began discussing her name. As we did with Della's name, we looked for inspiration in literature. I thought of my favorite pieces to teach and showed Alex the poem by ee cummings, "maggie and milly and molly and may." Poetry isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it is mine. I love how a few words can have such intricate meanings, illuminating the simple and complex in beautiful ways. This poem's themes speak of childhood, innocence, and getting lost in the wonder of the world. Here it is:


maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn’t remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it’s always ourselves we find in the sea



The sing-songy way it begins with the names and the rhyme sets the tone for a kid-like, carefree afternoon on the beach. In each stanza, it tells another story of how the child loses themselves in the wonder of the day. Maggie finds a shell that sings and makes her forget her troubles, Milly befriends a starfish,  and Molly is caught in the thrill of a chase. May's line is my favorite, maybe because it only makes sense to me sometimes, and when it does, it is beautiful. She finds something so simple ( a smooth round stone) and imagines it's possibilities and is amazed with it. To me, this poem captures the wonder of childhood and experiencing the world in ways that adults only catch glimpses of, when they force themselves to put aside their worries. I've found that I've gained moments like this back through motherhood, living vicariously and being encouraged to explore as my daughter does. It also reminds me of all the times I have stood next to the ocean, overwhelmed by the wonder and beauty and majesty in it, and felt an instant connection to God. With that connection comes the reality of His love, washing over me, wave after wave. In that way, the last stanza of the poem rings true to me, "For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)/it's always ourselves we find in the sea." For me, I find the part of myself with the ability to see the beauty in the world and feel love, absent of worry and fear. I pray for these types of moments for my children.
Immediately after discussing this poem, Alex voted we use May as a middle name. He loved the poem and its meaning, and he also mentioned that we were married in May. Beyond that, the month of May has such a wonderful connotation. Everything is warm without it making you want to melt,  and the warmth has a newness about it that is so exciting and refreshing, pointing to both the slowed down and adventurous days of summer. In that way, May symbolizes hope. Hope for better days ahead. As we thought through all these meanings, it clicked completely when I thought back to her song, My Girl. "When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May." This pregnancy has been especially hard, seemingly impossible at times. Through it all, I've found comfort in the dream of holding my girl.  It's certainly felt cold at times, yet there is so much I've found hope in, including our sweet girl.

The Name
Her first name didn't come as easily. Nothing clicked quite like May. At the time,  my students kept asking what we were going to name our baby now that we knew she was a girl. I laughed and told them her name hadn't hit me yet. They took it on as their personal mission to find her a name. After having to officially make the topic off limits for my sixth graders (they became obsessed), one asked if she could submit a list of suggestions. After I agreed, I received 9 lists within a few days, most of them group "projects" done at the lunch table and recess. The girls told me excitedly that they had their future children's names all picked out. I laughed and let them know another person would be involved that may throw their plans off course. At home, I got frustrated and basically told Alex it would be a lot easier if I could choose myself.  He was patient with my frustrations and asked what I would name her. Amelia May, I said. Surprisingly, he said he really liked it. We both started researching and discussing meanings and associations with the name, trying to make sure it fit for us.
Here is what we discussed:

Amelia with the art she made for Amelia May's room

 - It also exists in the ee cummings poem in the form of "Milly," which we love as a nickname.
-I've loved the name Amelia since I was a kid. I find it so elegant and beautiful.  I probably loved it partly because my mother did. If my brother (her fourth child) had been a girl, that was the name she had picked out. Now it will be the name of her fourth grandchild! Also, I loved it after watching The Princess Diaries (I'll be honest).
- We never considered it while naming Della because it is the name of one of my best friends, who we saw over three times on a weekly basis. She was also our neighbor, and we watched each others kids frequently. It would have been confusing. Amelia moved to Jacksonville last August, breaking my heart. Now it wouldn't be confusing, and she gave the name a wonderful association.
She is one of the friends that I most closely associate walking into motherhood with.
-  Alex and I are both wordsmiths and we care a lot about name meanings.The name Amelia means hard-working. That made it fit our requirement for being a classic name, both beautiful and strong.
- Famous people named Amelia are cool. Along with Amelia Earhart, we also found several princesses and saints named Amelia, one of whom had several children who all became saints as well. One of the Amelia saints refused Charlemagne's hand in marriage, despite his pleading. 

The Meaning
   Our prayer in naming both of our children has been that we would give them names in which they can be proud. Names that they will make their own. We know that they will add to their names with their own unique personalities. We simply want to start them out with the message that they were prayed for and wanted long before they were born. God is currently creating Amelia May in her mother's womb, and I'm so honored to be a part of God bringing something new into this world- a world that has its flaws, but also its beauty. I hope she is able to get lost  in the wonder of the world, to feel God's love as she stands in awe of his creation and love for her. I hope she always knows she belongs to someone and is never alone. My girl. Our girl. I can't wait to meet her. I know everything will have been worth it. We have a new song in our house:
We've got sunshine, on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside, we've got Amelia May

We've got our girls. We've got so much honey. We've got the sweetest song.  Now, hurry up and get here, Amelia! We are all waiting.